Team Gaki Presents
Translators: GakiNoSuitGuy airismile Shion indi Papa-Pineapples zakennayo Alisa Solarwings photodiode funtonite Otviss RyuuTenshi Typesetters: Li'l Carl acoolins24 Sacro Kintsugi carebu zel Zeph Giffan Kolibry samsamuel CadetPirx Amria Alan Caleb Barrett Wyrm One Nojiko Karaoke: Kolibry Translation Check: Oolong Conjyak Quality Checkers: Elestriel Moocau EcksDee Server/Website Admin: Rich
I work as the SP* chief in this casino and my name is
T/N: SP means security (as in security police)
I work as the SP* chief in this casino and my name is
Matsudaira
Ken
He really let that build up a lot
Yeah
This is pretty bad
And now
I will now start frisking you
Frisking from the SP Chief
So he's playing a short person
Yeah
Grim... What a grim face
Frisk 1
Hosei
Oh, frisking
You're
going bald!!
This guy is trouble
Definitely
This guy is too much
The way he said it, wow
I'm scared
Frisk 2
Matsumoto
Heavy breathing
Deeply interested in Matsumoto's chest muscles
Come on
What was that?
Really bad
What was that?
This is rough
He really felt him up there
Harsh
All right nothing abnormal!!
Nothing abnormal...
Frisk 3
Hamada
Carefully checking Hamada's earlobes
What is that face he's making?
What was that all about?
All right everyone has nothing abnormal!!
There are also a few questions we need to ask
Fujiwara, can I leave that to you?
Yes
Fujiwara, can I leave that to you?
Yes, understood
It's a background check
Thank you
Well then,
Relax and have fun
Hiyah!!
Leaves the background check to Fujiwara and retreats
All right, since I got the orders
From the SP chief
I'll do the check
First is Matsumoto
Yes!
I think you like summer because t-shirts look good on you
When you think of summer
What 4-piece band comes to mind?
What 4-piece band do you associate with summer?
I suppose TUBE?
Whaaaat!?
Reacts to "TUBE" and makes a re-entrance
What did you just say?
What did you say?
Um,
TUBE
TUBE, you say?
Yes
Fool
Why?
Sorry
Are you mocking what I started this summer:
My YouTube Channel "Matsuken TUBE",
Whose subscriber numbers are making very little progress!?
I don't know anything about that
No, I really don't know
I don't know
I punish you!!
Don't ever speak the word TUBE again
All right
Hiyah!!
Remarks that hurt his feelings are punishable
This is too much
That made no sense
Too much
I didn't know he has a YouTube channel
Yeah
Right
That hurts
Don't say things that will hurt the SP chief's feelings
That's right
How are we supposed to know?
Right
Exactly
Next is Hosei
You live in Osaka but come to Tokyo when you work right?
How do you get to Tokyo from Osaka?
The Shinkansen
Whaaaat!?
A finely crafted performance
What did you say just now?
Is sensitive to the response "Shinkansen"
Shinkansen
Shinkansen, you say?
You fool
Remarks that hurt his feelings are punishable
Are you making fun of
When I go to the film studio in Kyoto by Shinkansen
One out of every three times I oversleep and go to Okayama instead
And I show up at the location three hours late!?
I don't know about that
I don't know
What about it!?
No
I'm not making fun you
I punish you!!
I really don't know
Don't ever speak the word Shinkansen again
Hiyah!!
Okay, okay
Okay
Yeah
We get a smack for that
Shinkansen is bad, too?
He should just stay here
Right
That's right
Next is Hamada
Eh? Okay
You have a rather funny face right?
Regarding your face,
Yeah
What is the best part of your face?
The best part is where?
Well, I don't think this
But if I had to say something
People say: my lips
Wh-
Whaaat!?
Is sensitive to the response "lips"
What did you say?
I said lips
Lips, you say?
You fool
Instead of a punishment, a happy dance
What is this?
This has a dance to it?
T/N: The music playing is the theme to The Unfettered Shogun (Abarenbō Shōgun), which Ken Matsudaira starred in
It's pretty long
Guess there's nothing for "lips"
It was just a dance
Nothing for "lips"
Don't move!
Where's the vault!?
Masked burglars assault
Get the money!
Who is this?
I will punish evil!
What is this guy?
Get him!!
The SP Chief punishes evil
In the middle of the sword fight he glares at Matsumoto
He glared at me so intensely
Glared at me so intensely
That was amazing
As expected
They won't die at all
The masked burglars are persistent
They aren't dying at all, what's with that
They're all cut up
(labored breathing)
Well, it is 3 on 1
The limit of the SP chief's physical strength nears
He's gotten quite tired
(labored breathing)
Quite tired
(labored breathing)
He really should kill them
He's already killed them right?
This guy's strong, let's run!!
Oh,
This guy's strong, let's run!!
I mean, finally
I won't let you get away!!
What?
The battle continues even after they leave the room
Eh? Still?
It ends here!
What?
Eh?
Has the SP chief died at his post?
Did he get cut down?
Eh?
The SP chief is done for
This isn't really the time for casino. Let's go back
Hold on
We're only just getting started!!
Oh he's there
Sorry, sorry, please come over here
This is amazing
Supposedly-dead Matsudaira reappears on the stage in new attire
Please take your seats
We're really grateful for this, but...
Amazing
Front row seats
Amazing
How was it?
Did you think Matsudaira was dead?
Yes, we certainly did
Actually, this is our casino's usual surprise
Prank Show
Heipo Casino's usual surprise
Prank Show
Heipo Casino's usual surprise
Understood
Matsudaira did not die
As you can see I'm very much alive
Olé!!
Matsuken Samba
Do not laugh version
Here it is
Splendid
I haven't seen this in a long time
Too many rehearsals, too many lines, too much to remember
I accepted the offer without giving it much thought,
And regretted my decision on the first day of rehearsal
A director in his 20s criticized my acting
With a smirk, I was handed that horse costume
And I was brimming with anger
Gaki, Gaki is messing with Matsuken
Gaki, Gaki is messing with actors
That's not true
They gave me a shared green room, seated me next to Yoshiko
T/N: Referring to Yoshiko of the comedy duo Gambareru-ya
The waiting time was so long that, I dozed off twice
Add another 30,000 Yen to my payment. My fee!
He's fine with 30,000 Yen
What!
Look at him
What's he doing?
No matter what happens, Matsuken will sing
Screw it, Matsuken will dance
Oh, even in these times, let's all have a laugh
As long as we're alive, the future will come
Let's go, Japan, Let's go
Let's go everyone, Japan!
Great
Wonderful
Fine with the "out", but geez...
That was a wonderful performance
Really
They're saying goodbye to us, now?
Thank you very much
That was amazing to see
Yes
He had a big role
8 Hours In
The five return to the room and take a short break
You're really focusing on the counting
Can you treat me?
No
Shall we play Imaginary Half-Japanese Celebrity Naming contest?
What happens with that?
Winner gets a 1000 Yen
Ok
Imaginary Half-Japanese Celebrity Naming
1000 Heipo on the line
Do we all play?
Sure. We can play one-on-one, too
All right
I'll start
Ok
Henry Sasataki
Minajo Yoshikawa
Village Takemura
That's a weird name
Village!
It felt like you got influenced by what I said
I wasn't influenced at all
There's no way I would be influenced
Mosako Satake
What did you say?
Mosako Satake
That one is no good right?
What kind of a name is Mosako Satake?
Can you stop this game please?
What is this?
What sort of a game is this?
With this I get 1000 Heipo right?
Village and Mosako cancel each other out and make it even
Making others laugh is not the point
If you laugh you should have to pay 1000 Heipo
Yeah, you can't laugh
You can't laugh. You got in our way
Give me the money!!
Let's start from now onward
I won't laugh now
You gotta start that from now
Because you guys just started this on your own
Exactly
Shejarre Kumiko
Minagawa Go
That's a Japanese name
And there actually is a Go Minagawa
You can't do that
You can't do that!!
I get 1000 Heipo for that
Hamada should pay up, too
Why should I?
Because you laughed. I'm paying, too
This makes no sense, does it?
No, it does
Here's mine
What do you mean?
For real?
Whom should I pay?
I get this one right?
Yes, you take this
I take this
What!?
Because you laughed
How does that make sense?
You used Go Minagawa's name
No, it's not that
You only reversed the first and last name, right?
No, I did not
That one was bad
That was bad
1000 Heipo shouldn't cut it
I agree
But I think...
Stop involving us
Just do it among yourselves
Yeah
You're saying we laughed, but
It's because you're saying weird stuff
But you know, if we don't bet a lot, it's not gonna be that fun
Hey, you guys should bet too
Everyone put in 1000 each
Let's do winner take all
Good idea
Imaginary Half-Japanese Celebrity Naming contest
Winner take all with 5 people
Imaginary Half-Japanese Celebrity Naming contest
Yes
Ok, let's do it
You take too much time in answering
Ok, nobody is allowed to take a long time
What if you end up laughing during this?
Does it mean that that person bows out?
Yes, let's do that
That person is out of the race
So one person will get—
This is pretty huge
All right
That's true
Shall we start with Endo?
From me, then?
Anti-clockwise from there
Here we go
Jerry Nakamura
Oh, my turn
James Noda
James Onoda...
Kome Kome Club
I said Noda
You did, but Onoda...
Hold on
That's not good
I did not say Onoda
That's true, but...
He's not a half-Japanese celebrity
Yeah, he's not half-Japanese
There's gotta be a half-Japanese person with that kinda name
You did say Noda, but
You clearly got it from James Onoda
Kome Kome Club
And both of yours started with "Ja-", so you should avoid that
Don't get too influenced by others
Ok, understood
You took too long as well
Understood
Let's start with Hamada again
How slow are you!?
I don't like this
This is such a loss here
Yes, I agree
What do we do now?
Let's start with Endo, can't start with this guy
Let's decide the winner with this turn
Let's decide it
I agree
I'll start
Jesper Satake
No, I was...
I want us to keep it going
I'm sorry
Really sorry
How about we start from Tanaka?
Ok
Yes, let's do that
Eva Yumi
Tandoori Kimura
That's a type of chicken
Do it properly guys
That's tandoori chicken
That Indian dish
This sucks, this sucks
This sucks
Getting hit for something like this is not funny at all
For something like this. My ass hurts, already
Ah, that was funny
9 hours in
It's been nine hours since they got to Las Vegas. And as the sun is setting...
The five go meet the Legendary Dealer, who will teach them the basics of gambling
Legendary Dealer
This easily irritable Legendary Dealer - Who is this person!?
Legendary Dealer, huh...
The Legendary Dealer... he's not here, huh?
He's kinda scary, right?
Yeah
The Legendary Dealer
Shingo Katori
You scared me man, c'mon!
What the hell is this?
Something's peeking out
Underwear
We can see them
They're showing
That scared me
This is the legendary dealer, Katori
I'll come get you later
He's really staring at us...
Woah, woah
Hey, woah
Is this your first time at this casino?
Yeah
Welcome to the Heipo Casino!
Just like last year, his outfit is very unique
Casino First Timer's Ceremony
Ah
The Legendary Dealer is proud of his big mouth
Are you stupid?
What are you doing?
What are you doing, sir?
That's dangerous
And it's not making much sound
Harmonica
No way, no way
You should stop, hey
Ow ow ow no no no
Ouch ouch ouch
Bells + Harmonica Combo
Amazing...
What a brute force gag
There's no sound
There's no sound at all coming out
Just slightly... Just a little more?
The Harmonica is Somewhat Lacking
It's not working, sir
Your perseverance really comes through, though
Your perseverance
The air isn't going through it, though
Your perseverance...
All the air was just escaping out the sides
Just a bit more...
You should have just chosen one
There's more sound when he inhales
Why are you entering and exiting the table?
What is this movement?
Peek
They're short, aren't they?
Where are you looking?
Look at the bells!!
Look at the Bells, Not His Underpants
We were looking at them
We were, right?
Ahh, that's enough
Huh?
Over here!!
Changing Spots and Learning Casino Basics
Oh...
Oh, right
He's really gonna teach us
Right? We were told we'd be learning
Right?
What a difficult person
Kinda, yeah
So that's how it is
Because my skirt is so short
You were looking for when my skirt
Would slide up to look at my underpants
Not at all
What a gross bunch
Don't look at my underpants!!
Huh!?
Excessively Hates People Looking At His Underpants
Never mind. Pants it is
Bring me my pants!!
Yes, sir
Kentarou Kokado
Junior Dealer
Outfit Change from Skirt to Pants
Sir, I brought you pants. I'm not sure of the size, so could you try them on first?
Thanks
I have a bad feeling
Yeah
Like Rocchi's "Changing Room" Skit?
Tell me when you've got them on
Okay
Is there gonna be any gambling to this?
Yes, that'd be nice
How is it?
Yeah. There we go
Did you put them on?
Yeeeah
Do these match my top?
Oh, do they not match?
Is this okay, maybe?
Oh, they don't quite work?
Can we take a look then?
Well, yeah
Oh no!!
As Expected, Rocchi's "Changing Room" Skit
His underpants
I knew it was coming, but...
Just like Nakaoka's Movements and Voice
I knew it was coming, but...
Hmm, yeah
Have you not put them on yet?
I still haven't put them on at all
Oh sorry, It sounded like you had them on
Once you have them on please let me know
Yeeeees
Do you have them on?
Mmhmm
I'm opening it, okay?
Okay
Pisses me off
What the hell
We know it's coming, and yet...
I know it's coming, and yet...
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
What a difficult person
He is, right?
We shouldn't get him angry
I just want to share with all of you guys
The fun of the casino!!
What are you looking at??
Seiji Rokkaku
Casino Customer
I had no idea he was there
I didn't think anyone was there
No way!
True, he is looking
He is looking
No, I'm not looking
I was looking that way, but
I wasn't looking at your underpants
Why are you staring at my underpants!!
I said I'm not looking at them
No One is Forgiven for Looking at His Underpants
This is a place for gentlemen, could you not look at my underpants?
You dumbass, and you don't have any money...
Shut up, you stupid hexagon!
You've gambled away so much
You could buy a small house with your losses!!
At this point, you've already
Been divorced three times
Because of how badly you gamble!
This trash,
You trash hexagon!
You hexagon asshole!!
Take that!
You can just shut up!!
Hey, take this guy away!!
Hey
I can't work like this
Help!
Help me!!
What a mess
Removing the Unruly Customer
You have to pull to open. You can't push them
Wait, wait, wait...
He's laughing
Didn't you guys rehearse?
Did they think they could open them by pushing?
How awful
Please excuse me
For having caused such a scene
I'm extremely sowree@#*%!$...
I'm extremely sorry
What was that, Shingo?
It became all mumbly
5 People vs The Legendary Dealer
Card Game Showdown
Back to the matter at hand, now
A card game showdown
Rules
They will be dealt 2 Cards each. If they add up to higher than the legendary dealer's cards, they win
The rules are simple
Go ahead
Checking the Cards
He's playing with us?
Woah!
Players bet if they are confident in their cards
Okay, then. Please place your bets
Both of you are quite confident
Yeah
Are we ready?
Show
Your Cards!!
Katori
Hosei
Mastumoto
Hamada
Endo
Tanaka
Wow, look at that!
Oh, wow
Dealer!
Yes!
Twenty
With 22, Hosei wins!
Hosei Wins!
Nice!
And so, they continue to round two
Go ahead
Okay, please place your bets
I dunno about this one
Players bet if they are confident in their cards
Wow, no way
Hosei Goes Big
He went for it
Are we ready?
Yes
Please, show your cards!
Katori
Hosei
Matsumoto
Hamada
Endo
Tanaka
Woah, that's strong
That's strong
Dealer!
22. And with 23, Hosei wins
Hosei 2nd Win!